Praised be you, my Lord,

through those who forgive

for your love.

Blessed are those

who endure in peace.

~ St. Francis of Assisi

What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is replacing negative emotions (resentment, anger, hatred) toward those who have wronged us with positive emotions (mercy, empathy, compassion). This means wanting that person to have well-being for their own good.

“The important thing is not to fuel anger, which is unhealthy for our own soul, or to become obsessed with taking revenge and destroying the other. Nothing is gained this way and, in the end, everything is lost. Persons who instead nourish goodness in their heart find that such goodness leads to a peaceful conscience and to profound joy, even in the midst of difficulties and misunderstandings.” ~ Pope Francis, Fratelli Tutti (abridged)

Forgiveness does not necessarily mean forgetting the harm or injustice that was done. Real forgiveness works with accountability, truth, and justice, not in spite of them.

“Forgiving does not mean forgetting. Those who truly forgive do not forget. Forgiveness is precisely what enables us to pursue justice without falling into a spiral of revenge or the injustice of forgetting.” ~ Pope Francis, Fratelli Tutti (abridged)

Neither does forgiveness mean reconciling and reuniting with someone who wronged us. Some relationships should not be restored; some relationships are toxic and need boundaries.

Forgiveness depends on two things happening:

• Making a decision to forgive, and
• Replacing negative emotions towards the person who wronged us with more positive emotions.

Why forgive?

Research by the Human Flourishing Program at Harvard University shows that forgiveness is good for individual and communal health:

• Forgiving those who have harmed us leads to letting go of negative feelings that can undermine health and well-being.
• Forgiveness lowers depression and anxiety.
• Forgiveness can, over time, help free one from rumination and hurt.
• Forgiveness is associated with happiness, psychological well-being, positive social relationships and character building. (Harvard Gazette, April 2026)

“If everybody who had unresolved hurts were to experience more forgiveness, the population-level benefits to health and well-being could be quite substantial.” ~ Dr. Richard Cowden, Human Flourishing Program at Harvard University, 2026

What is the REACH Model of Forgiveness?

Psychologist Everett Worthington’s REACH Forgiveness model is one of the most widely tested models of forgiveness, and is synthesized in Do-It-Yourself workbooks available from the Human Flourishing Program at Harvard University as part of any Live and Forgive presentation, guided retreat, or small group series. The basic process of forgiveness in the REACH Forgiveness model looks like this:

        (R) Recall  the interpersonal hurt and the emotions associated with it.

        (E) Try to empathize with the offender.

        (A) Explore the idea that forgiveness can be seen as an altruistic gift to the offender.

        (C) Make a voluntary commitment to forgive.

        (H) Seek to hold onto or maintain forgiveness through difficult times.

How can I learn to use REACH Forgiveness?

You already are just by being here! Now check out the information under the About Live & Forgive tab above.