“Praised be my Lord for those who forgive on account of your love, and endure weakness and trials. Blessed are those who shall endure in peace, for by you, most high, they shall be crowned.” ~ Canticle of the Sun, St. Francis of Assisi

Scientific research has indicated that the benefits of forgiveness – e.g. the REACH process I facilitate through Live and Forgive – include: lower levels of depression, anxiety and feelings of anger; reduced substance abuse; higher self-esteem; greater happiness, personal sense of meaning, and life satisfaction. A person can certainly choose to consider forgiving someone just on the basis of these probable benefits. In a way, it’s a sort of beneficial self-centeredness in the form of what we often call “self care” now. When a person cares for themself, that person will do the things that are good for themself.

Why can forgiveness be hard to consider?

In some situations, especially the toughest situations, considering forgiveness seems impossible either because: the grievance is so huge that its injustice outweighs the value of the health benefits of forgiveness, or because the person doesn’t care enough for themselves to even value those benefits. When things are really bad, the situation can involve both, i.e. big grievance, and a lack of genuine care for oneself.

What is one way to get around not being able to consider forgiveness?

In those hard situations, one possibility is for a person to consider forgiveness because God or their “higher power” says to do it in response to the love God has for that person. This is the possibility that can go something like, “If it were up to me, I would never forgive this person — but I’ll do it for God.” This possibility can work, because it leaves in place (for now) the big grievance, and can be a person’s first step into doing things that are actually a kid of care for themselves. Yes, admittedly, a decision to follow God or a “higher power” has to have happened first because people don’t just spontaneously decide to put God at the steering wheel. But even if a person is in a “Why not give God a chance?” place in their life, there is the possibility of entering into the forgiveness process as part of that.

What makes forgiveness worth it when it’s hard?

The above quote by St. Francis of Assisi helps us understand that choosing to forgive, even as a response to God or a “higher power” is still not an easy road. It’s a tough process especially if the person does not have a lot of prior experience with forgiving people. Inevitably there will be “weakness and trials.” That’s to be expected, understood as OK and just part of the process of forgiveness. If a person can do it right, there is a lot to learn from one’s weakness and trials, and that kind of knowledge can be absolutely transformative and change a person’s life forever. Then that person can turn around and help change the lives of other people who have had the same experiences and are on that same path. The best wisdom in the world is obtained through weakness and trials, and it’s a paradox that some of the wisest people you will ever meet obtained their wisdom through the experience of weakness and trials.

What’s it all for and why care anyway?

At any point, someone can come to the basic question, “What’s it all for?” The answer at that moment can make or break whether someone will even think about, or keep going with, the forgiveness process. An uninspiring answer, or one that doesn’t make sense for the person’s situation, will shut down their forgiveness effort fast. St. Francis of Assisi suggests that a good answer will always be about the person finally finding real peace for themselves, both in their life relationships and day-to-day business, as well as within themselves. Wanting peace for oneself can sound like, “I can’t go on like this anymore” and “I just want everything to stop” or “I just want to stop.” Listening between the words, what the person is really saying is that they want peace in their lives, and the don’t want t go on with their lives without peace. St. Francis of Assisi’s words point to the possibility of obtaining peace for oneself – even a glorious and splendorous royal-level of peace – through the forgiveness process, even when you start that process for God or a “higher power” instead of for your own reasons.

Please share these words with someone who needs them today.

Peace and good to all,

Tom Delaney, O.F.S.

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This article is an original work of the author and was not composed by or with artificial intelligence (AI). The author is solely responsible for the contents of this article and the opinions and perspectives expressed in the article are solely those of the author. © 2026 Thomas Delaney. All rights reserved.

photo: Thomas Delaney, Sherburne County, Minnesota (USA) 2026