Jesus said:
“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am meek and humble of heart;
and you will find rest for yourselves.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.” (Gospel of Matthew 11:28-30)

I was fortunate to attend elementary school while nuns were still teaching in Catholic schools. I know that popular opinion likes to sensationalize nuns as strict and even harsh or cruel disciplinarians with no sense of humor, but the nuns I had for teachers were quite actually very caring and creative human beings. I remember almost every proverb and maxim they ever taught me, and one that I recall is the idea that when something bad happens, it is my personal cross to bear in imitation of Jesus and his having to bare a cross as part of the crucifixion.

“Your cross to bear.”

The deep lesson was that I could convert an unfortunate event or hardship into a meaningful sacrifice that brings me closer to the example of Jesus, simply by seeing it as carrying my own personal cross. A conversion in its truest sense, from a seemingly unfair situation to a situation full of meaning and sacredness. At the same time, a personal conversion, from seeing things as convenient or not for me, to seeing things as meaningful and engaging the sacred. Somewhere in there I also convert from lacking a sense of personal meaning and sanctity, to drawing closer to God and finding meaning and sanctity for myself. I remember being profoundly annoyed when someone would remind me to consider my experience of adversity as “Well, that’s your cross to bear” — but only because I often wanted to cling to an (understandably) self-centered perspective of inconvenience.

The Paradox and Wisdom in How We Carry Our Lives

I still have not figured out why the best wisdom so often involves a paradox. It seems that if you want to stock up on good wisdom, looking for paradoxes is a sure path. The burden that God has for us involves a paradox, and maybe one of the most important ones that we can see and ponder for ourselves.

On one hand, personal meaning and sanctity is to be found in adversity and suffering by bearing the burden of our cross in imitation of Jesus. But at the same time, Jesus himself taught that the burden or “yoke” he offers is light, and less burdensome than what we’re walking around with when we “labor and are burdened.”

The Burden that Releases You from Burdens

The old Greek word used in the Gospel of Matthew for “yoke” is zugon (ζυγόν), and usually refers to the wooden bar that harnesses two load bearing animals together, like two oxen or two horses. For a long time, I understood Jesus’ use of the term “yoke” to refer to the wooden bar that a person might use to carry two jugs of water back from a well somewhere in the desert — I grew up looking at photos of African and Middle Eastern village life in National Geographic magazine. More recently though, I have come around to wondering if Jesus really did mean a yoke for two, and the possibility that Jesus is offering a lighter yoke to me, and one reason it is lighter than my usual yoke of life worries, resentments, and avarice, is because I am sharing it with Jesus. If God is truly omnipresent, omnipotent, and all that, that’s the kind of yoke partner I need!

Another reason the yoke of (and with?) Jesus may be light is because it does not carry the burden of worries. In another part of the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus teaches “Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself” (Gospel of Matthew 6:34). The old Greek word for “worry” that is used in the Gospel of Matthew is merimnaó (μεριμνάω) which means not just worry, but also anxiety, and even the kind of anxiety that feels it is taking you away from who you really are and pulling you apart into pieces.

The Way Forward

So….which is it? The burden of the cross when the heavier it is the more I am grounding in personal meaning and sanctity? Or the relief from my worries and anxieties by putting away my personal burden and taking on the yoke of (and with?) Jesus?

The paradox is that the answer is “both.” When we experience adversity and our own grief and anger, we can use it as an opportunity to find personal meaning and sanctity by accepting and embracing it as our cross to bear. At the same time, when we decide to put aside our own way of looking at life and engaging with it that way, and take on a yoke with Jesus (I’m just going to say “with” because I’m pretty sure that’s the real deal), we will experience relief, and the experience of traveling more lightly and with more freedom down the road of life.

The acceptance of the cross and the freedom of the yoke is an awesomely powerful combination for anyone. If you are in a real jam – and who isn’t sooner or later? – the sure way forward is acceptance of the adversity in your situation, but also the choice to set aside the stuff that is weighing you down and holding you back (grudges, unhelpful ways of thinking and doing, plain old fear) and the choice to live better by connecting with the wisdom and love of Jesus as conveyed in the Gospels. That’s called spirituality, and it is a scientifically verified essential component of wellness and human flourishing (e.g. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 2016; Vanderweele, 2017).

Another important thing about choosing the yoke with Jesus, is that it means that we no longer walk through our daily challenges, grievances, adversities, unfulfilled needs and wishes or our setbacks alone. It’s a yoke for two, and Jesus is right there at our side going through the day with us, for the good times and the bad times.

For Today

For today, take a look at how you are viewing adversity, setbacks, and inconveniences in your life. Is seeing them as a kind of cross to bear an option? Would it help you get a deeper sense of personal meaning and your sanctity as a person? Would it help you accept and embrace the hard things in your life so that you could move on in a better way? At the same time, take a look at whether you are walking around with a burden of worries, anxieties, distractions and derailers and maybe even things that are dismembering you mentally and spiritually. Would it help you to see those things as your burden and start taking those things off of you in a process of working new or renewed spirituality in your life? Is forgiveness of others, or yourself, part of that for you? Is it time for relief and freedom? Would spending some time reading and thinking about the life that Jesus teachers and offers through the Gospels help you with that?

Please share these words with someone who needs them today.

Tom Delaney, O.F.S.

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This article is an original work of the author and was not composed by or with artificial intelligence (AI). The author is solely responsible for the contents of this article and the opinions and perspectives expressed in the article are solely those of the author. © 2026 Thomas Delaney. All rights reserved.

photo: Anna Frodesiak, 2011