(photo by Tom Delaney, Sherburne County, Minnesota 2025)

After sharing a photo of closed Hedge Bindweed (Calystegia sepium) flowers a while back, I thought I really should make a point to share with you a photo of the fully blossomed flower so as to do them some justice. When you head out into the woods and brush, it’s not exactly a quid pro quo (“this for that”) situation, especially when the only quid I had on me was my own intention to catch a Hedge Bindweed flower in a photogenic moment. As it is, I got lucky.

For today, let’s keep reading the section of St. Francis of Assisi‘s added text to the Lord’s Prayer in his Praises. Forgiveness was a really important concern for St. Francis, closely tied to Franciscan value of conversion (conversio) as an intentional turning toward God. There are a ton of St. Francis quotes that can grab your attention and take you to a place of insight, and many are in the straightforward plain language that St. Francis was somewhat famed for using. Of these one of my favorites is:

I have been all things unholy. If God can work through me, he can work through anyone.

This little quote is St. Francis’ way of expressing that conversion is real, and possible even when you have fallen pretty far into the things that take us away from our innate goodness and trap us. It also expresses that not only can you “get back with God,” but may even be exactly the person God is looking for to do good work in the world. Yes, this is a paradox, and paradoxes are the calling card of divine revelation. The Gospels are especially full of them — “first shall be last and the last shall be first” was just in the Liturgy of the Word yesterday (Matthew 20:1-16). I have come to think of paradoxes as one of the main ways that divine revelation happens, and when I see a paradox, I make a point to remain open and look for the divine revelation. The older I get, the more I have experienced that much of the best wisdom you can pick up in life is delivered through a paradox.

Back to St. Francis and the Praises. Today we’ll think about this section:

As we forgive those that trespass against us, and what we do not fully forgive, do Thou, O Lord, make us fully forgive, that for Thy sake we may truly love our enemies and intercede for them.

St. Francis is making the point that the reference to forgiveness in the Lord’s Prayer requires of us not just forgiveness, but full forgiveness. Is there a difference? — yes. In the research-based REACH Forgiveness Model that Live and Forgive uses, we distinguish between decisional forgiveness and emotional forgiveness. In decisional forgiveness, we may intentionally decide to no longer engage with the negative feelings we have about a hurt or offense and leave it at that. One problem with decisional forgiveness is that it does not process the hurt or offense in way that ends up with us feeling differently about it, and in a way that closes the gap in justice created by the hurt or offense we experienced. It’s just not full forgiveness. On the other hand, emotional forgiveness has us actually replace the negative feelings about the hurt or offense – cleverly termed “emotional replacement” – we experienced with positive feelings of empathy and even love (agape). Emotional forgiveness changes our ultimate experience of the hurt or offense, closes the justice gap by establishing empathy and love, and puts the whole deal in a place of committed and long lasting forgiveness. The REACH Forgiveness Process taught through Live and Forgive is specifically designed as a guide through decisional forgiveness and emotional forgiveness.

St. Francis even asks God to step in and make us fully forgive. It helps to understand that St. Francis is not saying that God should subjugate us and our free will, but rather that he is asking God to facilitate – a word with roots that literally mean “make easy” – our doing forgiveness, especially because it is something that the Gospels tell us we are supposed to do. In today’s Liturgy of the Word, Jesus teaches that “Love your neighbor as yourself” is the second most important commandment of all, and that in its likeness to it, it is rooted in the most important commandment of all, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.” These commandments are so supremely important and so foundational (one could even say pro-found meaning “toward the deep”) that Jesus explains, “The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:34-40). According to the Gospels, this was not the first time that Jesus really made a point that there should be love between people. At the earlier Sermon on the Mount, the Gospel of Matthew has Jesus teaching, “But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your heavenly Father…” (Matthew 5:44-45). St. Francis recognizes this divine calling to love even our enemies, not just to forgive them fully, but even to the point of interceding for them.

I think there is a subtle point in this prayer from St. Francis: God is with us in the forgiveness process, and works with us to make it easier. Working on tough stuff – hurts, offenses, injuries whether physical or emotional – is really hard when you do it alone. It feel overwhelming, impossible, pointless, and hopeless. St. Francis’ prayer opens us to the opportunity to not work the forgiveness process alone, but rather to invite in God as a good friend, as a constant companion, and as a way to make it easier. It is all too common a situation for people to feel they are alone in their hurt, pain, confusion and despair. One of the most important forces for morale, healing, resilience and recovery…is the simple friend. Earthly friends are important, and we take it to a whole ‘nother level when we bring in the wondrous divine friend. Sometimes we can remember that for ourselves, sometimes we need a reminder like St. Francis is offering because our heads are stuck in crisis mode. Friends do that for friends.

Today, make good friends, and be a good friend.

This text is an original work of its author Tom Delaney and was entirely composed without the use of artificial intelligence (AI).

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If your parish or faith community is seeking a deeper experience of healing, mercy, and spiritual renewal, Live and Forgive is here to help. To begin the conversation, email Live and Forgive presenter and facilitator Tom Delaney at tom@liveandforgive.com—Tom will be glad to connect with you in a spirit of welcome, respect, and shared faith.